Veteran Self-Care: Why Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Weakness

Why Veterans Sometimes Resist Self-Care

Veterans often understand discipline, but we may define it too narrowly.

Though this Blog is addressed more to the male Veteran's this Blog can be beneficial to female Veteran's as well.

We may associate discipline with:

• Ignoring discomfort
• Hiding emotion
• Working through exhaustion
• Refusing assistance
• Remaining constantly alert
• Never allowing anyone to see us struggle
• Handling every problem alone

Those habits may help someone function temporarily during a mission. They can become harmful when carried into every area of civilian life.

There is a difference between controlling your emotions and refusing to acknowledge them.

There is a difference between resilience and denial.

There is a difference between getting through a difficult day and pretending that months or years of distress do not require attention.

Strength is not measured by how long we can suffer without asking for help. Strength also includes recognizing when our current approach is not working and having the courage to change it.

Mental-Health Conditions Are Not Character Flaws

PTSD, depression, anxiety, and adjustment disorder are not proof that someone is weak, unreliable, or broken.

PTSD can develop after witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event. Symptoms may affect sleep, concentration, mood, relationships, reactions to stress, and the ability to feel safe.

Adjustment disorder may develop when someone has difficulty responding to a major life change or stressful event. Anxiety can keep the body and mind in a constant state of concern or preparation. Depression can affect motivation, energy, sleep, concentration, hope, and interest in activities that once mattered.

These conditions can overlap, but they are not identical. They also do not have to be entirely military-related to deserve professional care.

A veteran does not have to prove that every struggle came from deployment before seeking help.

Pain is still pain.

Stress is still stress.

A condition does not become less important because part of it may have come from civilian life, family experiences, physical health, employment, relationships, grief, or other circumstances.

Professional Treatment Is Part of Self-Care

One of the most important lessons I have learned is that self-care should not mean self-treatment.

A shower, workout, supplement, journal, hobby, or breathing exercise may support a healthier routine, but none of them replaces professional mental-health care.

For me, self-care includes:

• Attending therapy
• Speaking honestly during appointments
• Taking prescribed medication as directed
• Discussing side effects with my provider
• Avoiding sudden medication changes
• Keeping follow-up appointments
• Learning coping skills
• Asking questions when I do not understand something
• Reaching out before stress becomes a crisis

The VA recognizes trauma-focused psychotherapies as the most effective treatments for PTSD. These include Cognitive Processing Therapy, Prolonged Exposure, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Prescription medications may also be part of treatment, with the patient and provider monitoring benefits, side effects, and dosage over time.

Treatment is not always comfortable.

Therapy may require discussing experiences we spent years trying not to think about. Medication may require patience, adjustments, and honest conversations about side effects. Progress may not happen in a straight line.

There may be good weeks followed by difficult weeks.

That does not mean treatment has failed.

It means recovery and symptom management require continued effort.

Medication Is Not a Failure

Some men feel ashamed of taking medication for depression, anxiety, PTSD, sleep disturbances, or another psychological condition.

We would rarely tell someone with high blood pressure, diabetes, an infection, or a heart condition that using prescribed medication makes them weak.

Mental-health medication should not be treated differently.

Medication does not erase personal responsibility. It may help someone become stable enough to use the skills learned in therapy, communicate more effectively, sleep more consistently, or function more safely.

Medication decisions should be made with a qualified prescriber. Do not stop, reduce, increase, or combine psychiatric medication with supplements without discussing the change with your doctor, psychiatrist, pharmacist, or other licensed clinician.

Where Supplements May Fit—and Where They Do Not

Supplements can be part of an overall wellness routine when they are used responsibly.

They may help correct a nutritional deficiency or support normal body functions. However, they should not be marketed or used as treatments for PTSD, anxiety, depression, adjustment disorder, suicidal thoughts, or another mental-health condition.

No supplement sold by Natural Radiance—or any other company—should replace:

• Therapy
• Prescribed medication
• Emergency care
• Medical evaluation
• Sleep
• Adequate nutrition
• Healthy coping strategies
• Support from qualified professionals

Supplements also have side effects and interactions. The word “natural” does not automatically mean safe for every person or safe with every prescription.

5-HTP

5-HTP, or 5-hydroxytryptophan, is a substance the body can use when producing serotonin.

Because serotonin is involved in mood, sleep, and other functions, 5-HTP has been studied as a possible supplement for depressive symptoms. Some research has reported promising findings, but the quality and size of the available studies are limited. An older systematic review concluded that the evidence was insufficient for strong recommendations because many studies were small or methodologically weak.

This means 5-HTP should not be described as a proven antidepressant or a reliable way to regain focus.

Most importantly, 5-HTP may be unsafe when combined with medications or supplements that increase serotonin. A published case report involving an antidepressant and dietary supplements warns that 5-HTP should not be combined with SSRIs or MAO inhibitors because of the potential for serotonin syndrome—a potentially life-threatening state caused by excessive serotonergic activity.

Veterans taking antidepressants, anxiety medication, migraine medication, or other psychiatric drugs should not add 5-HTP without direct approval from their prescriber or pharmacist.

Possible warning signs of serotonin toxicity can include agitation, confusion, tremor, sweating, diarrhea, muscle rigidity, fever, rapid heart rate, or significant blood-pressure changes. Seek urgent medical attention when serious symptoms appear.

Magnesium Glycinate

Magnesium is an essential mineral involved in hundreds of biochemical processes. It contributes to normal nerve and muscle function, energy production, blood-glucose regulation, blood-pressure regulation, protein production, and bone health.

Magnesium glycinate is commonly chosen because some people find it easier to tolerate than forms that have stronger laxative effects.

However, evidence that magnesium supplements directly treat depression, anxiety, PTSD, or problems with concentration is not conclusive. Supplementation may be more relevant for someone with low dietary intake, a confirmed deficiency, or a medical reason identified by a clinician.

Magnesium supplements may cause digestive side effects and can interfere with the absorption or effects of certain medications. People with reduced kidney function need particular caution because their bodies may have difficulty removing excess magnesium.

A healthcare provider or pharmacist should review:

• Current medications
• Kidney health
• Existing medical conditions
• Dietary magnesium intake
• The amount contained in all supplements
• Whether testing or supplementation is appropriate

Magnesium may support normal physical function, but it is not a substitute for psychological treatment.

Vitamin D3

Vitamin D supports calcium absorption, bone health, muscle function, immune function, and other normal body processes.

Low vitamin D levels have been associated in some studies with depressive symptoms. However, association does not prove that a deficiency caused the depression.

Research on vitamin D supplementation and depression is mixed. Some recent meta-analyses have reported modest improvements in depressive symptom scores among certain groups, while the NIH Office of Dietary Supplements notes that clinical trials have not consistently shown that vitamin D supplements prevent or relieve depression.

Vitamin D may be useful when a person is deficient or has another medical reason for supplementation. It should not be described as a stand-alone mental-health treatment.

High doses can also be harmful. A clinician may recommend a blood test and an appropriate dosage based on health history, medications, diet, sun exposure, and laboratory results.

Other Supplements

Other vitamins, minerals, herbs, and wellness products may contribute to general nutrition, sleep routines, exercise recovery, or physical health.

But more is not always better.

Before adding a supplement:

1. Discuss it with your doctor, mental-health prescriber, or pharmacist.
2. Provide a complete list of medications and supplements.
3. Ask specifically about interactions.
4. Follow the product directions and professional guidance.
5. Avoid combining several new products at once.
6. Stop and seek advice if unusual symptoms develop.
7. Never use supplements as a reason to discontinue prescribed treatment.

A supplement may support a routine. It should never become the entire plan.

Journaling: Getting the Thoughts Out of Your Head

One daily practice that may help is writing in a journal.

Journaling does not require perfect grammar, beautiful handwriting, or pages of deep reflection. It can be as simple as recording:

• What happened
• What emotion you noticed
• What thought kept repeating
• What triggered the reaction
• How your body responded
• What you did next
• What helped
• What made the situation worse
• What you want to do differently next time
• One thing that went well

The VA includes journaling among positive coping strategies that may help veterans manage overwhelming or distressing emotions. The VA also encourages maintaining routines for sleep, eating, work, and daily activities during stressful periods.

Journaling can slow down thoughts that feel mixed together.

It can also help you bring useful information into therapy. Instead of saying, “I had a bad week,” you may be able to identify a pattern:

• I slept poorly for three nights.
• I stopped taking care of my normal routine.
• I became more irritable.
• I isolated myself.
• I started thinking everyone was against me.
• I reacted before understanding what was happening.

Recognizing a pattern creates an opportunity to interrupt it earlier.

Avoiding Alcohol and Drugs as Coping Tools

Alcohol and drugs may create temporary numbness, but temporary relief is not the same as recovery.

The VA explains that some people use alcohol or drugs to cope with PTSD symptoms, uncomfortable thoughts, trouble sleeping, or difficult emotions. However, substance use can worsen sleep, increase irritability, impair judgment, contribute to risky situations, and make PTSD symptoms more difficult to manage. PTSD and substance-use problems can be treated at the same time.

For veterans dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or anger, intoxication may reduce the ability to pause and make a safe decision.

It can turn an argument into a fight.

It can turn frustration into reckless driving.

It can turn a temporary thought into a permanent consequence.

It can make access to firearms, medications, vehicles, or other hazards more dangerous.

Avoiding drugs and alcohol does not solve every mental-health problem, but it removes substances that may interfere with judgment, sleep, medication, therapy, relationships, and safety.

Veterans who are struggling to reduce alcohol or drug use should not interpret that struggle as another personal failure. Treatment is available, and PTSD and substance use can be addressed together.

Do Not Feed the Stressor

When we are already angry, anxious, ashamed, or overwhelmed, it can be tempting to do something that increases the intensity.

Examples may include:

• Continuing an argument that is becoming dangerous
• Driving aggressively
• Looking for confrontation
• Sending threatening messages
• Handling firearms while angry or intoxicated
• Drinking to intensify or escape the emotion
• Using illegal drugs
• Gambling recklessly
• Isolating for long periods
• Repeatedly watching upsetting material
• Staying awake all night replaying the incident
• Making major decisions during an emotional crisis

These actions may create a temporary sense of control, adrenaline, escape, or revenge. They usually add another problem to the original stressor.

A better question is:

“Will the action I am about to take improve tomorrow—or make tomorrow harder?”

Self-care sometimes means walking away before pride convinces us to stay.

The Five-Minute Tactical Reset

One practical tool I use is a five-minute pause:

Stop. Breathe. Think. Re-evaluate. Act.

This is not a treatment for PTSD, depression, anxiety, or another condition. It is a short decision-making process that may help create space between an emotional trigger and a harmful reaction.

Brief mindful awareness can help people notice thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without immediately acting on them. Mindfulness-based approaches have shown benefits for stress, anxiety, and depression, although they should complement—not replace—professional treatment.

1. Stop

Pause before responding.

Do not send the message.

Do not continue the argument.

Do not start the vehicle.

Do not reach for alcohol.

Do not make a major decision.

Create physical distance from the person, object, vehicle, firearm, medication, or situation that could make the moment more dangerous.

Stopping does not mean surrendering.

It means taking control before the situation takes control of you.

2. Breathe

Slow your breathing.

You do not have to force a complicated breathing pattern. Simply breathe in gently and allow the exhale to become slower and longer, as long as that feels comfortable.

Notice what your body is doing:

• Is your jaw tight?
• Are your fists clenched?
• Is your heart racing?
• Are you sweating?
• Are your shoulders raised?
• Do you feel trapped?
• Are you preparing to fight even though the current situation is not a physical attack?

The purpose is not to pretend the emotion is gone.

The purpose is to recognize the body’s reaction before it determines your next action.

3. Think

Ask yourself:

• What actually happened?
• What part do I know for certain?
• What part am I assuming?
• Am I responding to the current situation or to an older experience?
• Am I tired, hungry, intoxicated, embarrassed, or afraid?
• What am I about to do?
• What could happen if I continue?
• Is anyone in danger?

Thoughts can feel like orders.

They are not always facts, and they do not always require action.

4. Re-evaluate

Look at the situation again.

Ask:

• What outcome do I want?
• Will my planned response help achieve it?
• How will I feel about this decision tomorrow?
• Could I leave and revisit the conversation later?
• Do I need to call someone?
• Do I need my therapist, crisis support, police, medical care, or another professional?
• Is this still a normal stress response, or is it becoming a crisis?

Re-evaluating is not indecision.

It is the same principle used when conditions change during a mission: reassess the environment and select the safest effective response.

5. Act

Choose the next safe action.

That may mean:

• Walking away
• Asking for a break
• Calling a trusted friend
• Contacting another veteran
• Writing in a journal
• Taking a shower
• Going for a safe walk
• Contacting your therapist
• Using a coping skill from treatment
• Going to a public or safe location
• Asking someone to stay with you
• Calling 988 and pressing 1
• Calling 911
• Going to an emergency room

The objective is not to make the emotion disappear in five minutes.

The objective is to prevent five difficult minutes from creating a permanent consequence.

When Five Minutes Is Not Enough

The tactical reset should not be used to delay emergency care.

Call for immediate help when:

• You are thinking about suicide
• You are thinking about hurting another person
• You have created a plan
• You have access to the means to carry it out
• You feel unable to control your actions
• You are intoxicated and becoming dangerous
• You are hearing or seeing things others do not
• You feel detached from reality
• You have not slept and your thinking is becoming severely impaired
• Someone nearby is in immediate danger

Dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line. You may also text 838255, call 911, go to the nearest emergency room, or go directly to your nearest VA medical center.

Do not stay alone when you believe you may act on thoughts of harming yourself or someone else.

Create distance from firearms, medications, vehicles, or other possible means of harm, and ask a trusted person to remain with you while assistance is contacted.

Building a Daily Veteran Self-Care Routine

Self-care is most effective when it becomes part of an ordinary day rather than something we attempt only during a crisis.

A practical routine may include:

Morning

• Wake up at a reasonably consistent time.
• Take prescribed medication as directed.
• Drink water.
• Eat something nutritious.
• Shower and maintain hygiene.
• Review the day’s responsibilities.
• Identify one realistic priority.
• Spend a few minutes outside or in natural light when appropriate.

During the day

• Eat regular meals.
• Limit excessive caffeine.
• Stay hydrated.
• Take prescribed medication on schedule.
• Move your body safely.
• Notice when stress begins rising.
• Use the five-minute reset before reacting.
• Contact support rather than isolating.
• Avoid alcohol, illegal drugs, and reckless behavior.

Evening

• Reduce stimulating or upsetting content.
• Write briefly in a journal.
• Review what went well and what was difficult.
• Prepare medications and necessities for the next day.
• Follow a basic hygiene or skincare routine.
• Use calming activities that do not involve intoxication.
• Maintain a reasonably consistent sleep schedule.
• Contact help when the mind is becoming unsafe.

These habits do not guarantee an easy day. They create structure, and structure can make a difficult day more manageable.

Men Need Permission to Speak Honestly

Many men were taught to remain silent about emotional pain.

Veterans may feel additional pressure because of military culture, leadership responsibilities, family expectations, or the belief that someone else had it worse.

Someone else having a different experience does not make your symptoms imaginary.

You are allowed to say:

• “I am not doing well.”
• “I need an appointment.”
• “This medication is causing a problem.”
• “I have been drinking too much.”
• “I am having thoughts that frighten me.”
• “I do not trust myself to be alone.”
• “I need someone to stay with me.”
• “I need emergency help.”
• "I need to talk to someone to tell them how I am feeling."

Speaking honestly can prevent a condition from becoming a crisis.

My Reason for Sharing This

I do not share my diagnoses because I want sympathy.  I share because there are many of my brother and sisters in arms that are suffering just as much or even worse than I am.  Sometimes there are Veterans who are scared to ask for help, because they think it makes them look weak, and I should know, I was one of them.  

I share them because too many veterans believe they are the only ones struggling.

At 47, I am still learning and I still make mistakes, and there are still things that I am dealing with that still get my Anxiety and Depression through the roof, even when I thought the stressor that was causing me the issues was at a distance.

I still have moments when stress, anxiety, anger, depression, or memories can affect the way I think and react.  In which, these behaviors can lead to other issues, such as financial problems and even up to a criminal record.  

My responsibility is not to pretend those moments never happen.

My responsibility is to use treatment, therapy, medication, healthy routines, self-awareness, and support so that those moments do not control every decision.

That is one reason Natural Radiance is about more than outward appearance.

Wellness is not just a product.

It is the routine surrounding the product.

It is attending therapy.

It is taking medication correctly.

It is asking a pharmacist before combining a supplement with an antidepressant.

It is writing in a journal instead of starting an argument.

It is staying away from alcohol or drugs when they make symptoms worse.

It is taking five minutes to stop, breathe, think, re-evaluate, and act.

It is calling for help when five minutes are not enough.

The Natural Radiance Perspective

Natural Radiance supports practical self-care, but we will never claim that skincare products, vitamins, minerals, or supplements can treat a mental-health condition.

Supplements such as magnesium or vitamin D may support normal physical functions or correct a deficiency when used appropriately. Evidence for mood-related benefits remains mixed, and 5-HTP requires special caution because of possible interactions with psychiatric medications.

The foundation must remain:

• Qualified treatment
• Therapy
• Medication when prescribed
• Healthy coping skills
• Sleep and nutrition
• Avoiding destructive substances
• Honest communication
• Crisis support when necessary

Self-care is not running away from responsibility.

It is taking responsibility for your health, your reactions, your safety, and the people around you.

You survived the mission. You are also allowed to take care of the person who came home.

Veteran Mental-Health Resources

• Veterans Crisis Line — Call 988 and press 1, text 838255, or use confidential chat.
• VA PTSD Treatment Information
• VA PTSD Care Programs
• VA Mental-Health Services
• PTSD Coach Mobile App
• VA Information About PTSD and Substance Use
• VA VetChange App for Problem Drinking

Supplement References

1. NIH Office of Dietary Supplements: Magnesium
2. NIH Office of Dietary Supplements: Vitamin D
3. Tryptophan and 5-HTP for Depression—Systematic Review
4. 5-HTP Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis
5. Case Report: Supplement and Antidepressant Interaction

Medical disclaimer: This article describes personal experience and provides general educational information. It is not medical advice and does not diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Do not start, stop, combine, or change prescription medications or supplements without consulting a qualified healthcare professional. Seek immediate assistance for thoughts of harming yourself or another person.